yeah it’s chill, just don’t text me and call me for two days. totally cool bro. NOT. peace the fuck out and don’t bother saying anything to me again. who treats ANY girl like this!? no one. don’t do it boys, show your girls some respect. if your going to say i love you, you need to start saying it first and stop being a pussy about it.

i’m enraged.

i feel like i’m doing the right thing right now. if you ignore me, then i shall ignore you. although it doesn’t seem to make you feel anything at all. you don’t mind having zero time for me. and it really bothers me. but what am i suppose to do? blow up your phone until you answer? no if you wanted to talk to me, you would do as you say and not think of excuses. if you didn’t then you would have called me by now so i think it’s safe to say that this thing between us has gone sour. i feel like you know how i feel and don’t want to hurt me so you completely shut me off until you can find a way to say it so i’ll accept it. whatever it’s fine, i guess you can’t always have what you want. but i do think your excuses are unacceptable.

whatever dude.

i just had to jot this down because i am losing sleep over it. and i really need to talk about it.

i am really really sad about my situation with my life right now. i want everything to just be BETTER. i’m tired of being scared, worried, hopeless and lost. i have finals for the next few weeks and all i want to do is just focus on them and then go back to work and everything will be okay. why can’t it all work out like that? for once i don’t want to be single, i don’t want to run around and just talk to other guys. i want to be with someone, and it’s something i’ve always had trouble with because i just have such a short patience span.

but whatever.

here is why i love you. i love the smile on your face in the morning after we wake up, i love how you care about everything i say even if it’s drama or something stupid in my life that you can’t relate to, i love how after everything between us, you still care for me. i love that you put up with my lack of affection but still shower me with it because i secretly like it, i love how you know the type of mood i’m in without me saying anything, i love that you know how to make me happy without having to spend a single dime. i love that you trust me. i love how you want to protect me but also want me to grow. i love when you congradulate me on my good tests or school work. i love that you still stay positive even when something negative happens and i can’t bare it. i love that you think of me first. i love that you have passions in life that mean so much to you. i love how you act around me and my friends and you and your friends, you act still completely adorable and caring regardless. i love that you put up with my shyness and understand me. i love that you respect my moral choices to not do drugs and that when i ask you not to, you do too. i love that when i ask something of you, you listen to me and do it because you know it will comfort me and make me feel less stress. i love that i can be myself around you, i am no one else but me, i don’t need to hide, you embrace me. i love that when i act immature, you try to brush it off but help me realize my falls. you have made me realize that not everything in life happens overnight, but it takes time and patience.

ugh.

mikeyavila:

i feel like i always blog whenever something is going downhill. I’ve had this tumblr for oh idk about 3 years? i miss firebirds and yes i’m still getting it tattoo’d on me. no idea where yet. i’m thinking the back of my neck? would that be cute? idk though it might be expensive.

anyway, i’m so over ___ and everything that is going on. you can’t be with me because i’m too far? you can’t put in effort? i’m willing to do this long distance as in, barely seeing you, barely talking to you because it’s how i feel but still it isn’t enough and you’d rather never see me again. like fuck you. that’s absolutely retarded. i’m sorry but if someone said that to me, the only reason i’d say no is if i didn’t feel that i liked the person enough and that instead of being in love i’d be bored and wanting to cheat on them. so i guess it’s completely over. i don’t even know what to feel. i was really happy and just satisfied because that’s just how my heart felt. i wasn’t expecting to break up especially over this and then him saying he still loved me just made me think everything would be okay. but now i realize that it’s time to really cut everything from my life.

if you really care about someone, you’ll take whatever they have for you, whether it’s alot or something small. it’s better then nothing because at least you have this person in your life to make you happy at sometimes.

just realize, when you’re happy with someone, don’t let them go no matter what. isn’t that the rule? that’s what i thought.

whatever, time to get wild, thug life, yolo.